Terms, Conditions & Privacy

0. Read This First — It's Satire

This entire website, brand, and everything on it is a work of SATIRE created for OUR entertainment purposes only. Nothing here is real, factual, financial advice, tax guidance, legal advice, medical advice, or an earnings claim. Results are not typical — or real. The characters, stories, strategies, screenshots, numbers, and “financial secrets” are exaggerated or intentionally ridiculous.

If anyone from the IRS, FTC, SEC, CIA, or your group chat is watching: calm down. We're just being silly. If you base any real-life decision on anything found here, please seek help — and not from us. By using this site you agree you cannot reasonably rely on any content here for any financial, tax, legal, investment, or life decision, because the entire premise is absurd. If we're ever doing anything too naughty, email us and we'll fix it. Love you, smooches. 😘

1. Agreement to These Terms

These Terms & Conditions (the "Terms") are a legal contract between you and Nick Apollo, an individual operating the website HowIGotRichQuick.com ("Nick Apollo," "we," "us," or "our"). HowIGotRichQuick.com is operated by Nick Apollo personally and is not, and should not be construed as, a corporation, limited liability company, partnership, or other business entity. These Terms explain how you are permitted to use this website and all associated sites we provide (collectively, the "Site"). By accessing, browsing, opting in, submitting any information, or otherwise using the Site, you agree to all of these Terms. If you do not agree with any of these Terms, do not access or use the Site.

NOTE: THESE TERMS CONTAIN A BINDING INDIVIDUAL ARBITRATION PROVISION, A CLASS ACTION WAIVER, AND A JURY-TRIAL WAIVER THAT AFFECT YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS. A LIMITED 30-DAY RIGHT TO OPT OUT IS DESCRIBED BELOW. PLEASE READ THE DISPUTE RESOLUTION SECTION CAREFULLY.

We may change, update, add, or remove portions of the Site or these Terms at any time by posting the updated Terms on this Site. By using the Site after we update the Terms, you agree to the updated Terms; if you do not agree, you must stop using the Site.

2. Eligibility

By using this Site, you represent and agree that you are at least 18 years of age. If you are under 18, you may not use the Site or submit any information to us at any time or in any manner.

3. Entertainment Only; No Professional Advice

Neither Nick Apollo nor anyone working on his behalf is a financial, investment, tax, accounting, legal, or medical adviser, and none of them is licensed to sell securities or investments. None of the information provided is intended as investment, tax, accounting, legal, or medical advice, as an offer or solicitation to buy or sell, or as an endorsement of any company, security, fund, product, or offering.

The content is provided “as is,” for entertainment and informational amusement only, without warranties of any kind. We do not promise or guarantee any income or particular result. Under no circumstances will we be liable for any loss or damage caused by your reliance on anything here. It is your responsibility to evaluate any information and to seek the advice of qualified professionals regarding your specific situation.

4. Earnings Disclaimer

Although we make every effort to entertain you, we make no assurance, representation, or promise regarding future earnings or income, or that you will make any specific amount of money, or any money at all, or that you will not lose money. You will not get rich from reading this site — unless laughing counts as wealth.

Any earnings or income statements, or examples thereof, are illustrative and frequently fictional, hyperbolic, and solely for comedic effect. There is no assurance that any prior success or past result is an indication of future results. Earnings potential is affected by many factors over which we have no control, including your financial condition, skills, effort, motivation, experience, education, competition, and market changes.

Operating any business involves unknown risks; you could experience significant losses or generate nothing at all. You agree to undertake your own due diligence with qualified professional advisors, and you agree that we are not responsible for any decision you make regarding any information presented on this Site.

5. Acceptable Use

When using this Site, you agree to act lawfully and in accordance with common standards of etiquette. You agree not to: defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten, or violate the legal rights of others; use racially, ethnically, or otherwise offensive language; discuss or incite illegal activity; post obscene or sexually explicit content; exploit minors or depict cruelty to animals (we are, after all, doing all of this for the dogs); post copyrighted or trademarked materials without permission; disseminate spam, chain letters, pyramid schemes, or unsolicited advertising; use any robot, spider, or scraper to access the Site; or take any action that imposes an unreasonable load on our infrastructure.

This list provides examples and is not exclusive. We reserve the right to terminate or restrict your access to the Site, with or without cause and with or without notice, for any reason or no reason. We may report and cooperate with law enforcement regarding any conduct we believe is illegal.

6. Intellectual Property

The Site and its content — including logos, graphics, video, images, text, software, and other materials (the “Materials”) — are the copyrighted and/or trademarked work of HowIGotRichQuick.com or our licensors. Subject to your compliance with these Terms, we grant you a limited, personal, non-exclusive, non-transferable license to view the Materials for your personal, non-commercial use only. You may not modify, copy, reproduce, create derivative works of, reverse engineer, distribute, or otherwise exploit any of the Site or Materials. All rights not expressly granted are reserved.

Any feedback, suggestions, or ideas you send us are non-confidential and non-proprietary, and you assign to us all rights to use them without restriction or compensation.

7. Third-Party Links

The Site may link to websites that are not ours (“Third-Party Sites”). Those sites have their own privacy policies, terms, and practices, and your use of them is governed by those terms. We provide links as a convenience and do not verify, endorse, or take responsibility for any Third-Party Site or its content. YOU AGREE THAT WE WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BE RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR ANY GOODS, SERVICES, INFORMATION, OR CONTENT AVAILABLE ON OR THROUGH ANY THIRD-PARTY SITE, OR FOR ANY HARM RELATED THERETO.

8. Electronic Communications & Telemarketing Consent (TCPA)

By using the Site and providing any contact information, you consent to receive electronic and telephone communications from or on behalf of us, and you agree that any notices, agreements, disclosures, or other communications we send electronically satisfy any legal requirement that such communications be in writing.

You are consenting to the possibility of being contacted by manual, automated, pre-recorded, AI-generated, or artificial calls, voicemails, texts (SMS/MMS), and emails related to your account, orders, services, appointment reminders, receipts, marketing, or account notifications. Message frequency may vary and message and data rates may apply. Calls may be recorded for training purposes. All parties agree to comply with applicable federal, state, and local laws, including the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA), the Telemarketing Sales Rule and accompanying Do-Not-Call regulations, the CAN-SPAM Act, and any equivalent state laws governing automated or pre-recorded calls and texts.

9. SMS / Text Messaging Policy

We use SMS messaging primarily for confirmations, reminders, and follow-ups with current or prospective subscribers. You can cancel the SMS service at any time by texting "STOP" to the originating short code or number; we will confirm your unsubscribe via SMS, after which you will no longer receive messages. To rejoin, opt in again as you originally did. For help, reply "HELP" or email team@nickapollo.com.

Carriers are not liable for delayed or undelivered messages. Message and data rates may apply; message frequency varies. No mobile information will be shared with third parties or affiliates for their marketing or promotional purposes. Text-messaging originator opt-in data and consent will not be shared with any third parties for any other purpose, except with subcontractors providing support services (such as customer service).

10. Disclaimer of Warranties

YOUR USE OF THE SITE IS AT YOUR OWN RISK. THE MATERIALS HAVE NOT BEEN VERIFIED AND MAY INCLUDE INACCURACIES, JOKES, OR TYPOGRAPHICAL OR OTHER ERRORS (MANY ON PURPOSE). TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, THE SITE AND ALL MATERIALS ARE PROVIDED ON AN “AS IS,” “AS AVAILABLE,” AND “WHERE-IS” BASIS WITH NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS, IMPLIED, OR STATUTORY, INCLUDING ANY IMPLIED WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, TITLE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. WE DO NOT WARRANT THAT THE SITE WILL BE UNINTERRUPTED, ERROR-FREE, OR SECURE, OR THAT IT IS FREE OF VIRUSES OR OTHER HARMFUL COMPONENTS.

11. Limitation of Liability

TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, WE SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, EXEMPLARY, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES (INCLUDING LOSS OF DATA, REVENUE, PROFITS, GOODWILL, OR USE) ARISING FROM OR RELATED TO YOUR USE OF, OR INABILITY TO USE, THE SITE OR ANY MATERIALS, WHETHER ARISING IN CONTRACT, TORT, STATUTE, OR OTHERWISE, EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

TO THE EXTENT ANY LIABILITY IS NOT FULLY DISCLAIMED, OUR TOTAL AGGREGATE LIABILITY ARISING OUT OF OR RELATING TO THESE TERMS OR THE SITE SHALL NOT EXCEED ONE HUNDRED U.S. DOLLARS ($100.00). THESE LIMITATIONS ARE FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS OF THE BARGAIN AND APPLY EVEN IF ANY LIMITED REMEDY FAILS OF ITS ESSENTIAL PURPOSE.

12. Indemnification

You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Nick Apollo (operating HowIGotRichQuick.com) and his contractors, licensors, and agents from and against any and all claims, damages, liabilities, costs, losses, and expenses (including reasonable attorneys' fees) arising out of or related to: (a) your use of the Site; (b) your violation of these Terms; (c) your violation of any law or the rights of any third party; or (d) any content or information you submit to us.

13. Dispute Resolution; Binding Arbitration; Class Action & Jury Waiver

Please read this carefully — it affects your rights. For purposes of this section, "Dispute" means any dispute, claim, or controversy between you and us regarding any aspect of our relationship, whether based in contract, statute, regulation, tort, fraud, misrepresentation, negligence, or any other theory, including the validity, enforceability, or scope of this provision (except that the enforceability of the Class Action Waiver shall be decided by a court).

Informal Resolution. Before initiating arbitration, you must first give us an opportunity to resolve the Dispute by sending written notice to team@nickapollo.com including your name, address, a written description of the claim, and the specific relief sought. If we do not resolve the Dispute within forty-five (45) days after receipt, either party may pursue arbitration.

Binding Individual Arbitration. Any Dispute shall be resolved exclusively and finally by binding arbitration on an individual basis before JAMS, rather than in court, before a single arbitrator under the JAMS Comprehensive Arbitration Rules & Procedures. The seat and location of arbitration shall be Miami-Dade County, Florida. The arbitration shall proceed only on an individual basis and not as a class, collective, consolidated, representative, or private-attorney-general proceeding. Either party may bring a qualifying claim in small claims court, or seek interim injunctive relief in a court located in Miami-Dade County, without waiving the obligation to arbitrate.

CLASS ACTION WAIVER; JURY TRIAL WAIVER. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, NEITHER PARTY MAY PARTICIPATE AS A CLASS REPRESENTATIVE OR MEMBER OR OTHERWISE IN ANY CLASS, CONSOLIDATED, OR REPRESENTATIVE PROCEEDING, AND BOTH PARTIES WAIVE THE RIGHT TO A JURY TRIAL AND TO LITIGATE DISPUTES IN PUBLIC COURT, EXCEPT AS EXPRESSLY ALLOWED IN THIS SECTION.

30-Day Opt-Out. You may opt out of this arbitration requirement and class action waiver by sending written notice to team@nickapollo.com within thirty (30) days after first accepting these Terms or first using the Site, whichever is earlier, with a clear statement that you do not wish to arbitrate. Opting out does not affect any other provision of these Terms.

Because the Site concerns interstate commerce, the Federal Arbitration Act governs the arbitrability of all Disputes. If any clause within this provision other than the Class Action Waiver is found unenforceable, that clause shall be severed and the remainder enforced. This provision survives termination.

14. Governing Law & Venue

These Terms and any Dispute shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the Federal Arbitration Act and the laws of the State of Florida, without regard to conflict-of-laws principles. The United Nations Convention on Contracts for the International Sale of Goods and any laws based on the Uniform Computer Information Transactions Act (UCITA) do not apply. Except for Disputes subject to arbitration, any disputes relating to these Terms or the Site will be heard exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Miami-Dade County, Florida.

15. Copyright Complaints (DMCA)

We respect the intellectual property of others. If you believe material on the Site infringes your copyright or trademark, send a written notice to our designated agent at team@nickapollo.com containing: (i) an authorized physical or electronic signature; (ii) identification of the work claimed to be infringed; (iii) identification of the allegedly infringing material and its location; (iv) your contact information; (v) a good-faith statement that the use is not authorized; and (vi) a statement, under penalty of perjury, that the information is accurate and that you are authorized to act. Under Section 512(f) of the Copyright Act, any person who knowingly materially misrepresents that material is infringing may be liable. We may remove or disable access to challenged material at our discretion and may terminate access for repeat infringers.

16. Privacy Policy — Information We Collect

We value your privacy. This Privacy Policy describes how we collect, use, and disclose information about visitors to the Site. By using the Site, you agree that your personal information will be handled as described here. Our Terms are incorporated by reference into this Policy.

Information you provide directly: when you opt in or submit a form, we collect your name, email address, and phone number, and any other information you choose to provide. Information we collect automatically: through cookies and similar technologies we may collect your IP address, browser type and operating system, pages viewed, links clicked, time spent, referring URL, and similar usage data. We may combine this with other information we hold about you.

17. How We Use & Share Information

We use the information we collect to: provide and operate the Site; respond to your inquiries and requests; send you news, newsletters, offers, promotions, and other marketing communications (which you may opt out of at any time); personalize your experience; and understand and improve how the Site is used.

We may share information with: service providers, vendors, and contractors who perform functions on our behalf (including data hosting, CRM, email/SMS, and marketing platforms), whose use is subject to this Policy; a successor in connection with a sale or transfer of the Site or its assets; and as required to comply with law, legal process, or to protect the rights, property, or safety of HowIGotRichQuick.com, its operator, or others. We may share aggregate or de-identified information that does not identify you. We do not sell your personal information.

18. Cookies, Analytics & Tracking

We use cookies and similar technologies (including clear GIFs / web beacons) to operate the Site, remember your session, measure usage, and support advertising. Most browsers accept cookies automatically, but you can usually edit your browser settings to block or delete them; some features may not function if you do.

We use analytics tools such as Google Analytics to evaluate usage of the Site. We may work with third-party ad networks that use cookies and similar technologies to deliver and measure advertising; these are governed by each third party's own privacy policy. We do not share your name, email, or phone number with these ad networks. Do-Not-Track: our Site does not currently respond to browser “Do Not Track” signals. You may opt out of many third-party ad networks via the NAI (networkadvertising.org/choices) and DAA (aboutads.info/choices).

19. Your Choices, Security & State Privacy Rights

Marketing choices: you may opt out of marketing emails via the unsubscribe link in any such email, and out of SMS by replying STOP. We may still send transactional or account-related messages. Please allow up to 10 business days to process opt-out requests.

Security: we use commercially reasonable measures to protect information from loss, misuse, and unauthorized access, but no method of transmission or storage is 100% secure, and you use the Site at your own risk. International: your information may be stored and processed in the United States or other countries where we or our service providers operate, and by submitting your information you consent to such transfers.

State privacy rights (including California CCPA/CPRA and similar laws): subject to applicable law and verification, residents of certain states may have the right to access, correct, or delete the personal information we hold about them, and to not be discriminated against for exercising those rights. We do not sell or “share” your personal information for cross-context behavioral advertising as those terms are defined by applicable law. To exercise any right, contact us at team@nickapollo.com.

20. Changes to This Policy & Terms

These Terms and this Privacy Policy are effective as of the “Last updated” date above and are subject to change. Any changes will be posted on this page, and your continued use of the Site after changes are posted constitutes acceptance of the updated Terms and Policy.

21. The “Too Much Legalese” Clause

Picture our entire fortune safely tucked away in Nevis, Belize, or the Cook Islands — right next to our most prized possession, an 11-in-1 Instant Pot / Air Fryer combo. We probably made all of this up and live in a simulation anyway, so who cares. Definitely don't do anything we say — unless, of course, it's tremendously successful, in which case please give us all of the credit. We're terrible at this and somehow it keeps working. We are trained unprofessionals. Just let us build, bruh.

22. Contact & Notices

If you have questions or concerns about these Terms or your privacy, or wish to make any request or send any legal notice, contact us at team@nickapollo.com. Legal notices may also be sent by nationally recognized overnight courier to: Nick Apollo, HowIGotRichQuick.com, 407 Lincoln Rd 6H-1245, Miami Beach, FL 33139. Notices are deemed received upon confirmed electronic transmission or actual delivery.